Celebrating
the Individual Masterpiece God Created:
A
celebration of life vice a traditional funeral service.
By: Pastor Bob Tousey, MACM
We are each God’s masterpiece that He
created anew in Christ Jesus, so that we can do the things God has planned for
us (Ephesians 2:10, NLT). He designed each of us for a unique role (Erik Rees, S.H.A.P.E,
Finding & Fulfilling Your Unique Purpose for Life, 2006, pg 18). It
would seem that when our journey on this earth ends, we should celebrate the
Masterpiece that God created, but sadly that is not often the case. We
often focus on the loss that we are feeling because our loved one will no
longer be part of our daily lives instead of focusing on the gift that our
loved one was to us during his or her time on earth. We mourn instead of celebrating
the gift we were given.
As a child I remember funerals being a gloomy
event, where the focus was on the loss of a loved one, rather than celebrating a
life well lived. The viewing would typically last two days after the death with
the burial taking place on the third day. There was little to no laughter in
the room, most people were dressed in black and weeping could be heard. The
room was filled with flowers rather than memories of the life the person lived.
The funeral service or mass would be very ritualistic and boring. It didn’t end
there because the family was expected to wear black for an entire year to
mourn. I remember when my dad died my mom had to go out and buy black clothes
so she could “properly” mourn.
This ignored the Christian teaching that life
on this earth is intended to be for a season, a very short season at that in
comparison to eternity. Our loved one in fact does not die but goes on to
eternal life. Several years ago, before his death Billy Graham reminded us of
this with the words "Someday you will read or hear that Billy Graham is
dead. Don't you believe a word of it. I shall be more alive than I am now. I
will just have changed my address. I will have gone into the presence of
God." Ideally
this should be the destination for each of us. When our life on this earth ends,
we enter eternal life in which, ideally, our loved one no longer will suffer
earthly pain, suffering and loss. Isn’t this something to be celebrated?
Today, the family has more freedom to choose
when the viewing and service is scheduled as well as setting the tone for the
event. Sometimes it is even a week or longer after the death. This allows loved
ones to travel in. The family can decide how long the viewing will be often
choosing to hold the viewing and service the same day. Very often an atmosphere
will be created to celebrate and honor the life of their deceased loved one. There
will be pictures at the viewing, if the person had an artistic gift, some of
his or her creations would adorn the room or if they were competitive, trophies
won will celebrate those achievements. I recently even saw the deceased’s
motorcycle next to the casket and have been greeted by the deceased’s well-behaved
dog who was allowed to attend the viewing.
The service whether religious or not can also
be used as a time to celebrate the life lived.
While most of the services I conduct are Christian, I have on occasion
lead a service for a family who preferred to celebrate the life without
religious references. Unless the family is asking me to do something that would
violate my convictions, I am more than honored to help the family obtain
closure in a manner that they are most comfortable. Whether the service is
Christian or non-religious we can always celebrate the life. I find that
celebrating the life is consistent with Christian beliefs as God as created
each of us to be a unique individual and the celebration of life honors the
masterpiece God created. This takes a little more time than it would if I just
simply read from a prayer book. I need to speak to the family and learn about
their loved one. This can involve a phone call, multiple phone calls, a visit
to the family home, a meeting in a diner or at the funeral home. I have done
each of these. Sometimes it takes a few minutes and sometimes the better part
of a day, but my philosophy is to do what it takes to minister to the family
and help them heal. I often arrive at the funeral home early or even the night
before the service to meet extended family and friends to view the pictures and
get a better sense of the life the person lived. I encourage family and friends
to speak at the service if they are comfortable doing so and if they are not
but want to share something, I will offer to read it for them. I also provide
the family with a copy of the service so they can read it later or keep it with
mementos of their loved one’s life.
The religious portion of the service contains
uplifting scriptural readings and prayers followed by short explanations of comfort
and often will connect the reading to the deceased’s life. I will typically use
a poem to transition from the religious portion to the celebration of life
portion of the service. The idea is to honor the way the deceased lived and assist
the family with closure.
