Celebrating the Individual Masterpiece God Created: A celebration of life vice a traditional funeral service.

Celebrating the Individual Masterpiece God Created:

A celebration of life vice a traditional funeral service.

By: Pastor Bob Tousey, MACM

        We are each God’s masterpiece that He created anew in Christ Jesus, so that we can do the things God has planned for us (Ephesians 2:10, NLT). He designed each of us for a unique role (Erik Rees, S.H.A.P.E, Finding & Fulfilling Your Unique Purpose for Life, 2006, pg 18). It would seem that when our journey on this earth ends, we should celebrate the Masterpiece that God created, but sadly that is not often the case. We often focus on the loss that we are feeling because our loved one will no longer be part of our daily lives instead of focusing on the gift that our loved one was to us during his or her time on earth. We mourn instead of celebrating the gift we were given.

As a child I remember funerals being a gloomy event, where the focus was on the loss of a loved one, rather than celebrating a life well lived. The viewing would typically last two days after the death with the burial taking place on the third day. There was little to no laughter in the room, most people were dressed in black and weeping could be heard. The room was filled with flowers rather than memories of the life the person lived. The funeral service or mass would be very ritualistic and boring. It didn’t end there because the family was expected to wear black for an entire year to mourn. I remember when my dad died my mom had to go out and buy black clothes so she could “properly” mourn.

This ignored the Christian teaching that life on this earth is intended to be for a season, a very short season at that in comparison to eternity. Our loved one in fact does not die but goes on to eternal life. Several years ago, before his death Billy Graham reminded us of this with the words "Someday you will read or hear that Billy Graham is dead. Don't you believe a word of it. I shall be more alive than I am now. I will just have changed my address. I will have gone into the presence of God."  Ideally this should be the destination for each of us. When our life on this earth ends, we enter eternal life in which, ideally, our loved one no longer will suffer earthly pain, suffering and loss. Isn’t this something to be celebrated?

Today, the family has more freedom to choose when the viewing and service is scheduled as well as setting the tone for the event. Sometimes it is even a week or longer after the death. This allows loved ones to travel in. The family can decide how long the viewing will be often choosing to hold the viewing and service the same day. Very often an atmosphere will be created to celebrate and honor the life of their deceased loved one. There will be pictures at the viewing, if the person had an artistic gift, some of his or her creations would adorn the room or if they were competitive, trophies won will celebrate those achievements. I recently even saw the deceased’s motorcycle next to the casket and have been greeted by the deceased’s well-behaved dog who was allowed to attend the viewing.

The service whether religious or not can also be used as a time to celebrate the life lived.  While most of the services I conduct are Christian, I have on occasion lead a service for a family who preferred to celebrate the life without religious references. Unless the family is asking me to do something that would violate my convictions, I am more than honored to help the family obtain closure in a manner that they are most comfortable. Whether the service is Christian or non-religious we can always celebrate the life. I find that celebrating the life is consistent with Christian beliefs as God as created each of us to be a unique individual and the celebration of life honors the masterpiece God created. This takes a little more time than it would if I just simply read from a prayer book. I need to speak to the family and learn about their loved one. This can involve a phone call, multiple phone calls, a visit to the family home, a meeting in a diner or at the funeral home. I have done each of these. Sometimes it takes a few minutes and sometimes the better part of a day, but my philosophy is to do what it takes to minister to the family and help them heal. I often arrive at the funeral home early or even the night before the service to meet extended family and friends to view the pictures and get a better sense of the life the person lived. I encourage family and friends to speak at the service if they are comfortable doing so and if they are not but want to share something, I will offer to read it for them. I also provide the family with a copy of the service so they can read it later or keep it with mementos of their loved one’s life.

The religious portion of the service contains uplifting scriptural readings and prayers followed by short explanations of comfort and often will connect the reading to the deceased’s life. I will typically use a poem to transition from the religious portion to the celebration of life portion of the service. The idea is to honor the way the deceased lived and assist the family with closure.