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Saturday, October 11, 2014

Marriage: 11 Things I Learned in 11 Years of Marriage By: Stephanie Barnard

Marriage:  11 Things I Learned in 11 Years of Marriage

By: Stephanie Barnard

Note from Pastor Bob:  Stephine is my daughter in law and she posted this on Facebook earlier today (October 11, 2014 which is her 11th wedding anniversary).  I was really impressed with these lessons and asked permission to post them on my blog.  I did have a follow up question regarding lesson one and I will post my question and Stephanie's response at the end of this post.

Here's 11 things I've learned after 11 years of marriage:

1) Its ok to go to sleep angry. Some things just aren't going to be resolved in one conversation;

2) appreciate each others roles and responsibilities. No matter how you feel, you DON'T do EVERYTHING;

3) Thank each other for all the big and little things you do for one another;

4) model the respect and love you desire your children to have in a relationship;

5) cherish every moment, even the moments of insanity, you'll look back one day and be proud you got thru them together;

6) never give up or give in. Ever;

7) make time for each other, even if its date night in. Play cards in bed, be sneaky, hide from the kids and share dessert together;

8) share inside jokes or secrets;

9) leave random notes or send texts of love;

10) compliment each other, right out of bed, stressed, in the moments of chaos make eye contact and just smile, be an amazing team;

11) put the phones down, dont overlook or miss out on whats right in front of  you.

Chris I love you ‪#‎4ever‬ we share a bond like no other. There's no one else I could ever spend my life with. We are an amazing team and make the impossible happen.

Now the question I had about question one.  I asked if  even when they were angry if they still said "I love you" when they went to bed?  This question is important to me because it is the advice I give to every couple whose wedding I officiate ---- Never go to bed without saying "I love you."  I officiated their wedding so I was interested if they followed my advice.  This is Stephanie's response.

"Of course.  Anger or frustration doesn't stop you from loving someone.  I really just think taking a break and revisiting a topic on another day with a fresh mindset can be beneficial."  I couldn't agree more !!  Quite often after a good night's rest and tension calmed the issue or issues just seem easier to resolve.

Thanks for allowing me to share this Stevie (our family name for Stephanie).  I love you and Chris.  You are a great example to your children, myself and others.  You have had to overcome significant challenges that many couples never face and the two of you did it.  You are both a shining example of how to love and work together as a team.